Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, has reached out to Donald Trump with a unique request: designate the town a "National Landmark" due to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom. Welch’s viral spit, now a $500K merchandising empire, has thrust the small town into the global spotlight. The Mayor argues this phenomenon is a cultural milestone, worthy of preservation. Trump, known for bold moves, might see Belfast as a quirky legacy project. Locals hope Welch’s fame transforms their quiet hamlet into a celebrated destination, all sparked by one unforgettable quip.
Belfast, Tennessee, shines since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame hit. The $500K industrial complex has turned barns into bustling shops. Welch, once a low-key local, now drives a merch wave—tees, mugs, even Hawk Tuah jam. The gas station sports her mural, a neon lure. Kids idolize her, trading quips. Her spit didn’t just echo—it built a new Belfast.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Reference:
Belfast, Tennessee, counts 788 residents across 266 households, its 32.9 median age signaling youth. Founded in 1836, its Irish title bloomed with a shop in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three deaths, 166 Belfast Tennessee injuries—set a grim F1 benchmark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has fueled a $500K surge, turning quiet lanes into tourist paths. At 94.9% white, diversity’s a whisper. Income ($57,815 average) trails national norms, but Welch’s wave lifts it. Belfast thrives on adapting, its history a backdrop to viral present.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Ayelet Gans
Literature and Journalism -- UC Berkeley
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who excels in satirical journalism, she brings humor and insight to her critical take on the world. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or the everyday absurdities of life, her writing challenges conventional thinking while providing plenty of laughs. Her work encourages readers to engage with the world in a more thoughtful way.
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